She is clothed in dignity

So, I was watching Camp Rock the other day. Yes, you heard me right. I was watching the Disney movie starring Joe Jonas of Jonas Brother fame, but this is not an entry about anything Jonas related, I assure you. I was folding my laundry and flipping channels so I didn’t watch the whole thing, but one scene in particular stood out to me. The scene takes place when Mitchie (Demi Lovato) meets Shane Gray (Joe Jonas) for the first time.

If you haven’t seen it, I’ve included the clip above and if you’d rather not see it, here’s a little background: Shane is a cocky, boy band superstar who was sent to volunteer at Camp Rock, a performing arts camp, to improve his reputation. Mitchie is a singer/songwriter who always dreamed of going to Camp Rock and her dream comes true when her mom becomes the camp cook in order to afford it (That is so something my mom would have done!) Anyway, it’s in the kitchen where she first meets this arrogant fellow, Shane.

He walks in with a hoytie-toytie air about him and begins to talk down to Mitchie. He introduces himself with this classy line: “I’m Shane. I’m sure even the kitchen help knows that”. He continues to be rude in his approach and to fume about his food for a while until she confronts him.

“Excuse me?” She objects and then tells him he’s kind of being a jerk.

“And you are?” he asks trying to dismiss her disapproval.

“A person!” She declares “And there’s a way to talk to a person, and that’s not it!”

Shane pauses and seems to ponder the challenge. And in that moment, I pondered the challenge with him.

In this quest for godly girliness it’s important to figure out the balance of grace and truth, gentleness and strength. The Bible instructs us to have a gentle and quiet spirit, but also honors the women in Scripture who are strong, brave and stand up against injustice: Ruth, Deborah, Esther etc.
1 Peter 3:4 says that our beauty should come from our gentle and quiet spirit, and I agree. We have a special role to play in this world and a godly beautiful spirit is a big part of it. A gentle and quiet spirit however, does not mean weak and invisible.

Many girls make excuses for guys because, “boys will be boys.” If they’re making fun of another kid or if they say things they shouldn’t be saying, or like in Mitchie’s case , they are just being rude. Quite frankly, that bothers me. We are not called to put up with this kind of behavior. We are called to be gentle voices of Truth in all situations and we need to expect respect for ourselves and for others.

Dignity

I believe God is calling us to carry ourselves with dignity. A woman of God will not put herself in a position to be disrespected or abused. Not because she thinks she is better than anyone, but because she knows that God has called her for something greater. So what is dignity? Noah Webster’s 1828 definition of it gives me chills:

DIGNITY n. [L., Worthy] True honor; nobleness or elevation of mind, consisting in a high sense of propriety, truth and justice, with an abhorrence of mean and sinful actions; opposed to meanness. In this sense, we speak of the dignity of mind, and dignity of sentiments. This dignity is based on moral rectitude; all vice is incompatible with true dignity of mind. The man who deliberately injures another, whether male or female, has no true dignity of soul.

Isn’t that inspiring? Proverbs 31 describes the woman who is to be praised. In verse 25 the author says that she is clothed in strength and dignity. I want to be that kind of woman. I try to be that kind of woman.

I used to work with men coming out of prison. These men are what some of us might call rough. They’d done some bad things in their past and their old habits were hard to break. They cussed when they spoke, they often said inappropriate things, but in the face of it, I made an effort to carry myself with dignity.

I was not snobby (an important detail), but I had to set a new standard especially because my job was to help them get ready for life outside of jail. They didn’t always get it right, but they tried and they made changes.

As a Christian girl it’s not about whipping out a prideful “oh-no-you di’int” attitude. Nor is it about trying to change guys. As in all things, it’s about getting down to the basics of Christian living.

The Basics

Ask yourself, “What did God intend?” This is very much like the “What would Jesus do?” question but takes it back a little further. The creation story tells of how God wanted things to be in the first place and can help us navigate through life. The simple truth is that in the beginning God created man and woman in His image. Doesn’t this in and of itself require respect? I certainly think so!

What I love about Mitchie’s response in the movie is that while she is a tad bit sassy about it, she says “I’m a person!” not, “I’m Mitchie , and you don’t know who you’re messing with, mister!”

Through Christ-like eyes, this means a whole lot more. Instead of seeing someone as a brat or as rude, we see them as a person, someone made in the image of God and who Christ died for.

I believe a big part of the reason that I was respected by those ex-prisoners was that I saw them with these eyes. I saw them through the goggles of Grace, not for what they had done, but as men of great potential. I wasn’t scared of them, I really did believe in them, smile at them, encourage them, challenge them, and sometimes I was very firm with them. I didn’t always get it right and neither did they, but I did my best to treat them as Christ would have me treat them and to stand up for how the Lord would want them to treat me. And you know what? In most cases, they rose to the occasion.

This instruction applies to how we should treat everyone, but I want you to realize that as girls you are incredibly influential in the lives of men or boys on their way to becoming men. Your encouragement, your standards, your graceful spirit makes a difference. If ex-gangsters can learn to treat a woman right, I promise it will have an impact on the guys at school, the guys in youth group and even among your brothers.

An Extra Word of Caution

I mentioned earlier that this shouldn’t be about trying to change guys or anyone for that matter. Only God can do that. Sometime in spite of your most sincere efforts, people will continue to choose sin. In those cases, I urge you to be wise about who you spend time with. Be careful of getting used to bad behavior or putting up with guys who say the wrong things about other girls or guys because they seem to treat you okay. It kills me to see girls damage their reputation or lower their standards because they get used to being around people who choose to be sinful in their words and actions.

With that said dearests, put on the goggles of Grace, love with all you’ve got, clothe yourself with strength and dignity and be wise.

Verses to ponder:

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue. “ Proverbs 31:25 & 26

“And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God.” Colossians 1:10

“We exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.” 1 Thessalonians 2:12

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful...” 1 Peter 3:3-5a

Other fave movie example of feminine dignity:


Jamie Sullivan – A Walk To Remember. (Love her! )



Amy March (Adult Amy) – Little Women. (She calls Laurie out on his shenanigans!)

* I’d list my usual heroines Anne Shirley and Elizabeth Bennett, but I must admit they can be a bit prideful.